Voyage Trekkers -- "Crisis in Space!" -- THE CONCLUSION
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You chose ... A) Try one last-ditch effort to resolve this peacefully by seduce the mermaid general.
- All's Well That Ends -
The alluring General Oberon draws her trident at Sunstrike and Powell. "You shall both die before you take another step!"
Capt. Sunstrike slowly removes his Hulk Hands as he soothes her with his tenderest voice. "Here now, we mustn't fight. Our people have so much in common. We are both from warrior races, we're both attracted to kinky, even disgusting fetishes, and ... we both know where this is going."
He smiles and winks at her as he caresses his own bare chest and gives his codpiece a jaunty little wiggle. "Is that a trident you're thrusting at me, or am I just happy to see you?"
Oberon seems both repelled and intrigued. "You ... you are no more attractive to me than a constapated penguin, land flopper. I ... I ... "
Predictably, the two immediately rush into each other's arms and proceed to make out with violent passion.
"Oh Captain Sunstrike." She moans. "I love you. I think I've always loved you."
"Oh ... fish chick." He coos. "I think so too."
While this is happening, Princess Miranda rushes towards Cdr. Powell, and embraces him lovingly. "Oh, smaller manling. I watched you fight the bigger, more handsome one out there in the arena. You were so brave! I could hear you out there shrieking your war cry, and calling out to your battle god 'Mommy'. Your courage has moved me so. I wish to be your love slave now until the end of time!"
"Oh, okay." Powell consents with a thoughtful repose.
Dr. Rena, now back in uniform, rushes over to them breathlessly. "Captain! The mermaids have surrendered!"
Indeed, the beautiful Mermaid Queen hops up to them on her noble tail, with her head held high and her proud bosom upthrust in defeat. "Your time warriors have bested my finest lancers in this epic battle, Captain Sunstrike. On behalf of my Mermaid Kingdom, I have no choice but to submit to your tender mercy."
Sunstrike smiles and nods to her. "That's the spirit!"
The band of time travelers arrive with liberated colonists. The female colonists were rescued from the grueling plankton farms, and many were saved from becoming whale bait. The male colonists were released from captivity in the breeding pens only very reluctantly. Now, they all milled about, waiting for something to happen next.
Finally, the elder of the time travelers speaks. "We have earned our freedom. We must go now, to scour the galaxy for that menace to the future of history, Captain Starstroke!"
Captain Sunstrike gives them the thumbs up. "Good luck with that."
The time warriors all raise their magic wands (recovered from the colony's evidence locker) to the sky, and chant in unson: "Prudelior Eustace!"
With a magical flash and a shower of sparkles, they all disappear. Sunstrike then turns back to the others. "You know, I think we all learned a valuable lesson today ..."
WHAT LESSON DID WE LEARN?
A) "... There are many cultures in this galaxy, and they're all unique and special in their own little way. But clearly, human culture is still the best."
B) "... That the democratic process works. When everyone pitches in and votes, even on busy weekends, things will work out for the best - so long as there's a man in charge."
C) "... Sometimes ... Usually ... uh, um ... Teamwork!"
After he says whatever he says, Captain Sunstrike offers a salute to the mermaids and colonists who hadn't yet shuffled away from the gathering. As the three valiant officers turn to leave, General Oberon and Princess Miranda leap into the arms of their respective beloveds.
"Please, take us with you!" They cry.
Sunstrike shrugs soothingly. "There, there. We would love to take you with us. Unfortunately, the transit pod only holds three."
THE END?
